why i wish i was 7

recently, i have been able to admit that i am a homebody. sometimes i wish i could go back 10 years and live the simpler life of monkey bars, naps, and chalk. things i love about home:

• i love to lie on dad's side of the bed and pretend to do homework, but really, i am watching NCIS with mom
  
• the food at home always tastes so much better than mine
• i love all the chaos that comes along with my family....always noise (yes, i stir the pot and sometimes create tension...not so good)
• when there is never a dull moment
• when dad ends an argument with "amanda, i love you. i just want you to be happy."
  
• when dad decides it time for prayer and then someone says something funny and it all spirals down hill . . . 30 minutes later he says "can we pray?"
• playing wii with howard
• taking wacky pictures on my computer with dad. hearing him ROAR with laughter makes my soul happ

it's truly amazing how much the Lord is involved in my life. when i think about it, God has the ultimate power and control to transform my life into something better than i can imagine. certain events in my life have led me to where i am now. i had never contemplated a mission. i don't think of myself as a scriptorian who knows everything about the church. but now, everything is different. i see myself sharing the gospel, telling everyone around why i am so happy, that there is a purpose to life. i am to the point where i just want to leave, get out of here, and share what i know!!! i was thinking i would go in april 2010. and now, i want to go in december 2009.

uplifting people...helping me become my best self

Sometimes I facebook stalk. Today I was looking at my friend Anna's page (she is a beautiful person, inside and out, and has amazing spiritual advice) and came across this. I knew it had to be good if Anna found it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2AibapAJfE&feature=related

I was so excited that I watched it twice! Then I sent it to my mom and Dallas, two of my favorite people that would appreciate this uplifting message. Then when Mad was trying to get the printer to work, I showed her. She was a little hesistant at first, seeing as it is almost 7 minutes long, but she really liked it!

I truly cherish the talks I have with Dal. We can go from talking about 24 to something spiritual. He always has some incredible insight to give me, especially with mission advice. Recently, we have been talking about my possible mission and how I feel about it. He always says that he will support me in whatever I do, that he wants me to be happy. He is always encouraging me to be the best person I can be, one of the many things I love about him...

So, I was talking to Dal last night about life and missions and futures. He asked me if I was going on a mission. I told him that I didn't know. He asked me what was holding me back. I had to think about this...and really, there isn't anything holding me back. I'll be done with school, my family and friends support this...so really, nothing is holding me back. Dal told me that I would make a great missionary. I told him I was so scared to go, that I don't know what I would say if someone started to interrogate me about the church. I have a strong yet simple testimony. I know that there is a Heavenly Father who loves me, that Jesus is my Savior, that He is truly the only one who knows EXACTLY how I am feeling, that the Atonement is here so that we can utilize it and return to live with Heavenly Father again. I know that Joseph Smith restored the gospel and saw Heavenly Father and Jesus. I know that prayer is real, that God always answers prayers, that the scriptures are here to help us grow closer to Jesus and to help us learn from other's mistakes. I know that there is a prophet on the earth today, President Monson, who leads and guides the church under the influence of the Holy Ghost. I know that we can repent of our sins and be clean again, that we just have to let go of pride and ask Heavenly Father to make our weaknesses become strong. This is what I know to be true. And I want to share what I know, why I am the happy person that I am, with those who don't know the truth, who are looking for a deeper meaning and purpose in life.

I love all the people I work with. I asked the amazing girls that went on missions why they chose to go. Shandy told me that I would never regret going on a mission, but that I would regret not going. This hit home because it is true... why would I regret serving the Lord and bringing the truth to those who don't have it?

There are so many reasons TO go and few if none to not go.....

life comes at you fast

i love blogs. i love reading them and hearing little thoughts that go on inside people's minds. i just can't seem to find enough time for writing in mine...

i like to be busy, always doing something. i love my job. i love always helping people and assisting the doctors (busy busy). i love school and learning and making schedules to do homework. i love going to the gym and running and doing yoga and doing the rowing maching. i love making dinner from scratch. i love reading my scriptures and self-improvement books. i love painting my nails and plucking my eyebrows and curling my hair. i love seeing my dearest friends and hearing about their amazing lives. i love the temple and the peace it brings. i love ALL of these things. but tell me how to do all of this in one day. tell me how to balance myself, how to destress (i do like tanning, but this is not the healthiest destresser), how to see into the future and know that everything will work out.

i had a melt down week. i felt like i couldn't take it anymore. so, i went to starbucks to get a chai tea (thank you nikki for introducing me to these!) but, it was closed (when does starbucks close at 10?). so instead, i went to dairy queen and ordered two mint oreo shakes, one for me and one for mad. i felt much better after downing that sucker, but the lingering thoughts of doubt were still present...

it is amazing to me that all of THE biggest life choices fall into my lap at the same time....i am about to graduate, P.A. applications begin in may, mission papers could go in in october, dating... i don't even want to throw boys into this mix. at times, i just want to put these decisions aside...but i can't. this is where faith comes. i just need to move forward and truly believe that things WILL work out how they should. but what do i plan on right now??? do i go on a mission and forget about temporal things? do i finish byu and move right on to P.A. school? ahh...i'm getting a headache just thinking about this...where is my magic 8 ball? or my genie?

on a lighter note, i love Madelaine! we have so much fun doing random things. we go shopping in park city for $300 jeans, hang out with quirky boys and take pictures, make full meals, buy toilet seat covers, share a love of tanning and spoon me...basically we can do anything and have a great time.

i had these coupons for sandwiches, one was free and one was $2 off. i was SO excited to use these! i had 2, so mad and i could both get a great deal. so we go to gandalfo's to get our sandwiches. i take the coupons to the sandwich man and ask him which sandwiches we can get with the coupons. he looks at it and says, "uh...these coupons are for quiznos." hahaha i felt like THE dumbest person on the planet. i was laughing so hard, mad was laughing, and the guy stared at us like we were idiots. things like this bring us joy. i am glad we can entertain each other.

i am very happy the sun is starting to shine! two more months till summer!!!!!!!!!!

little joys today

i remember when my dad called me a simpleton for not knowing how to lift the hood up on my car. i don't know much about cars. if i ever need help, i'll call 1-800-BACK-U-UP. So, maybe i am a simpleton. well, maybe the barbie version (makeup, hair, nails, summer glow all year around kind, fashionable kind. so i am a little high maintenance. i just like to look as good as i feel!)

i feel that i am a simple person. i am happy to be alive and not afraid to share my feelings (which can be good and bad i guess). simple things make me happy. i don't feel that i am hard to please...my parents may not agree with this (christmas videos bare it all). but the older i get, the more i realize that i already have everything i want. i have an AMAZING family, fun fun friends that make me want to be better, a tub that i like to fill with bubbles, memory foam on my bed, and of course, the gospel.

i like to smile. i frequently get the question "why are you smiling?" simple..i love life! i have been looking for my little joys everyday and i have come to realize that i am so tremendously blessed! here are my free joys for today:

• waking up excited that it is FRIDAY!!


• wearing my rainboots because it is wet outside and being able to blaze through those puddles


• trying out new curly shampoo and mousse that Madelaine introduced me to..i woke up to a curly mane!


• exchanging looks with Ted in Neurobiology when people make bizarre comments


• getting a text from someone I love.... ;)


• being thanked for opening a door


• talking with friends at work about dating


• realizing that i have a SUPER fun date tonight...every time i think about it, i get those jittery feelings in my stomach ;) only 2 more hours!


• talking to mom on the phone


• getting a voicemail from Dean... i love to be greeted as "Shemanda!"


• hearing a happy song on Pandora


• glancing in the mirror and seeing that my head is as bright as a lightbulb...i love blonde hair


• getting a compliment on my shoes


• jumping into bed and realizing that it is still warm from sleeping in it


• understanding a difficult concept in Chemistry


• seeing that Pookie sent me 25 texts saying "Stop whining ya big boob" ha ha i laugh out loud every time


• finding time to read scriptures in the middle of the day


• little moments of peace

what i have come to realize

i am a thinker. i am never without thought. sometimes i overanalyze my life. things with boys and school are simple and yet, i make them complicated. i like to close my eyes and dream up the perfect world for me...5 years down the road. where will i be? i have this notion that after pa school, life will be bliss. no problems. no worries. and yet, i know deep within that there will always be life stresses. well now that i got this out..... i have been thinking about my mom a lot lately. i've always known that my mom is amazing...superwoman is the best word to describe her. she is always sacrificing her time for everyone around her. she cooks and cleans with little thanks. she makes beautiful dresses when she has no time. she has several callings in the ward that demand attention. she has many friends that require emotional energy. and still, she makes time for family. i really don't know how she does all of this. she is one of the most patient and loving people i have ever known. i mean, she dealt with me and all of the terrible things i said and put her through. i look back at those years and feel physically sick. she was the one person cheering me on in life and giving me love and i was pushing her away. my mom is my best friend. she tells me things that i do not always want to hear. she helps guide me in the right direction. she has taught me to love others and to see them the way God sees people. she has taught me to stay close to God and to put Him first in my life. she instilled my testimony of the gospel and helped me strengthen it. she has met every need that i have had. i highly regard her opinions. she loves me unconditionally. she has made me into the person i am today and i am eternally grateful for her Christlike love and example. if i can be half the woman she is, my life will be complete. i love you mom! you mean the world to me and nothing could ever change this. i support you in all you do!

My nightly thoughts from ten to midnight

i am four days into school and i already want to be done...well..not the classes, just the daily routine. For example, here is a typical Monday:

class starts at 8

• kinesiology and biomechanics,
• neurobiology,
• chemistry,
• doctrine and covenants

work at 12:15 to 6ish

yoga at 8:30 pm

marathon training at 9:30

then i am supposed to do homework...... this is where i am failing in my day because i have no desire to sit and stare at words on a paper after such a long day. but like i said, i am only four days in. i still haven't made my giant homework calendar. i believe this is the reason why i am not getting anything done yet. the calendar is like my school bible. each class is color coordinated (orange, pink, teal, lime green, purple) and i put all the readings, tests, assignments, quizzes, and anything else on this calendar.

then, when i am lying awake at night, i feel guilty because i only read a few scriptures. i'm pretty sure that if i put God first, things fall into place. i know this, so now i'm gonna do.

boy am i glad that i got these feelings out!

Goal for tonight: make the calendar so that i can function! whoo!

New Year..New Me!

January 3...well technically January 4th, 2009

I have good feelings about this year. Newness always instills new hope in me. New people. New boys. New classes. New dreams. New goals. New situations. It's not that last year was bad. I just feel that I am somewhat stuck in a rut. Now I am ready to get out of the hole and onto fresh ground. I have found that life is short. Really short. After watching The Bucketlist, I learned that if I want to accomplish something, I should just do it instead of saying "Oh, I'll for sure do this in a couple years..." No, not anymore. Here are a few things I want to accomplish this year:

• marathon...Ogden in May and St. George in October
• temple trips every week
• volunteer at an old people home
• learn to knit
• plant a garden
• document my life with pictures
• do humanitarian aide...spread world peace
• learn to play the guitar
• influence someone's life for the better
• be able to master the wise tree pose...i can't get this down
• do crazy spontaneous things...not a typical amanda move
• CRUISE...cruising 08 was a freaking blast...09 will be off the hook
• become a 100% raw foodist
• feel free and let loose!!

I feel extremely happy with my goals for this year. I know that now is the time to get these done. This year, I am going to record all of my happy experiences in this blog. I love pink. I live pink. Thus the name "My pretty pink life." Life is better when living pinkly.