Monday, December 21, 2009

as of late...

my current loves:

my bed...memory foam + 4 pillows = heaven on earth
gossip girl...seriously addicting. i can't get enough of it!! i love all the characters. the one who is growing on me the most is chuck. he has this sensitive, romantic side that is captivating. ah...
imogen heap...she takes me to another world, one full of peace and calmness. gotta love the blissful escape her music offers.
my's amazing how pretty and feminine i feel with them on. totally classiness. i love the clicky noice they make.
the idea of raw foods...i had SO muchy energy when i was eating like a rabbit. i just gotta find that motivation again...good thing new year's is around the corner
my high heel blue boots ...they remind me of dress up as a child. and who has blue boots? no one i know. you can just call me the trend starter. ;)
pommegranates...easily my favorite fruit, if not my favorite food. mom taught me a new way to peel them. you stick em in a bowl of water and then peel it in the bowl. no red stains. raincoat is not necessary. and it only takes like 4 minutes.
chillin with howard...he is a hoot. he is basically my twin. if i were a boy, i would be him. he likes to eat, make weird faces, play Wii bowling, wrestle, sing, to a t. he is 12 and as tall as me, has bigger hands and feet than me. it is so neat to "see" how i was when i was 12. love it.
cleaning the bathroom...i get great joy out of cleaning the toilet, the sinks, and the mirror. i feel a sense of accomplishment. i love organizing the combs, curling irons, and towels.
playing the piano and talking to papa...i have really been missing papa lately. i want to talk to him about everything that is going on, from mission to his take on med school to family things. i have never performed in front of anyone, except for recitals and piano competitions. i played the piano at papa's funeral. this was a huge deal. i was nervous, but i felt him by me the whole time. now, whenever i play the piano, i know he is there. i get emotional. his presence is almost tangible. so if i need to talk to papa, i go play the piano. he is there and is always willing to listen. he is another testimony that the gospel is true.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

thought of the day

I came across this the other day. i had heard it a while ago and LOVED it. i still love it! enjoy!

I am a part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed." The die has been cast. The decision has been made. I have stepped over the line. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still.

My past is redeemed, my present makes sense and my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals.
I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, love with patience, live by prayer and labor with power.

My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my Guide is reliable and my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity or meander in the maze of mediocrity.

I won't give up, shut up, let up or slow up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up and spoken up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go till He comes, give till I drop, preach till all know and work till He stops me. And when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner is clear: I am a part of the "Fellowship of the Unashamed." - unknown

Thursday, December 10, 2009

a.d.d. emotions

this is how i feel.

wanna know why? let's see if i can identify all of these strange emotions.

first off, i am sad. this past year, i grew very close to Zee and his family. i loved talking about medicine with him. he involved me in individual cases, helped/did my chemistry homework, taught me all the procedures (where the needle goes, what nerve is involved, why someone would have it done), explained his interviewing process, his reasons for picking Cincy, how much work goes into starting up a practice, etc. he told me all about his life, from growing up to college life to crazy life stories. he asked me about my life, always remembering little details. he was and still is genuinely interested in my crazy life.
i especially loved talking about religion with him. he and his family went to the Okiihr Mountain temple open house with Mad, Jo Ann, and I. we went to his prayer service. he had questions. i had questions. we found several similarities between the LDS and Muslim faith. we discussed everything from morality to green tea to Jesus to life after death to eternal families. we could talk for hours about life and the purpose of it and God and being like Him. i love that he is so devoted to his faith, constantly striving to better himself so that he can better mankind.

i absolutely ADORE his family! Dalenna is a beautiful woman! she has this air of kindness and love about her. i could talk to her all day about life. she asks questions and sincerely listens. i love learning about her life, dreams, and experiences. Zayd is probably the funniest/most stubborn little boy ever. we build water towers, ferris wheels, roads, trailers, you name it. we do puzzles and read stories. he is bob and i am wendy. he remembers my name. basically i love him. and Sofia is the most beautiful baby girl. she is always dressed like a model (thanks to her fashion-savvy mama).

so in a nutshell, i love these amazing people! i am happy that they are off chasing their dreams, but extremely sad that they are leaving...tomorrow. i don't do goodbyes. i do "see you soons." they support the mission. they support PA school (maybe i'll end up in Ohio with a crazy sweet job with a fabulous happy that offer is on the table). they genuinely care about my life. i consider them family.

i am HAPPY that classes are officially over. WOOOOOOOOO. now just three finals and i am done (this is why i am stressed). this time next week, i will be carefree and less zitty hopefully. i cannot wait to be done. let me repeat myself.
i am done with the provo scene. i am done with boys in provo. i am done with every boy knowing every other boy i hang out with. i am ready for warmth all year round. i am ready to start a new chapter of my life.

i have been working on the mission papers. i had two crowns done this week and now the dental form is complete. all i have left is the medical exam and obtaining a passport. i am ANXIOUS to see where i am going to go. i want to best prepare for the people i am going to serve. i want to know everything. i know this is not possible, but i want to be the best prepared missionary ever!

all of the emotions have something in common: time. i have realized how fast time passes. i remember when Zee started at Nexus. and in the blink of an eye, a year has come and gone. relationships take time to be built. i am happy i made an effort to be friends with the Tayebs. i truly cherish those friendships. i am happy that school is almost over. i can remember my first day as a freshman, sitting in Econ 110. i cannot believe that i am graduating!! i remember when i decided to go on a mission. i never thought i would be 21....weird i know. i never though i would seriously have to make adult decisions. i never thought life would have so many curve balls. i never thought i would be in this place in my life, doing what i am doing. i don't feel old enough. i still see myself as the tomboy on the playground, eating beef jerky. according to my mom, i dress like i am 6. well so what? some days i want to be 6. is that so wrong?

so at this time of year, i am taking time to reflect on my life and what is truly important. life is short. i want to make sure my priorities are in check. i want to spend less time on myself and focus more on others. that is what life is about. helping others who cannot help themselves. and wanna know the best thing about service? serving others is like serving God, which in turn helps you become the person He wants you to be. that's all that i want. i pray i can make this goal a reality.