Tuesday, October 13, 2009

my mind at 2:30 am

"Faith is knowing that Christ is the Savior. Hope is knowing that Christ is your Savior. Charity is knowing that Christ is everyone's Savior."

i stumbled upon this quote tonight...well i guess today (2:30 am doing organic chem and anatomy). this really struck me. the more and more i pray to heavenly father about a mission, the more it seems right. i want to share this knowledge with everyone so that they can be as happy as i am.

mad put it this way: 18 months of being in a different place with people you don't know (something that i am craving right now), making life long friends, 100% service, personal growth and maturity, completely forgetting myself, and spreading the love of Jesus to everyone around me. AND only blessings come from this.

In the Sunday afternoon session of conference, Elder Brent Nielson gave an outstanding talk about missionary work that got my spirit going. He quotes President Monson on missionary work, “What a promise! If we respond affirmatively to that sacred call, that binding authority, ‘I will be with you always, even unto the end of the world.’ I can’t think of a greater promise."

I love this:

The Savior’s call is to you of the rising generation. He is asking for worthy, prepared, faithful young men and young women who will heed the prophet’s voice, who will step up and say, as the Savior Himself said, “Here am I, send me”. The need has never been greater. The field has never been whiter. You are called to go “this last time”. There is no greater work; there is no greater call than teaching “all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost”.

After hearing this talk, I seriously felt that my spirit was going to jump out of my body. I became SOOOO excited about sharing the gospel with anyone and everyone.

One of my best friends, Zee, is a doctor I work with. He is Muslim. He and his beautiful family went to the Oquirrh Mountain temple open house with Mad and me. We went to his prayer service. We have had several religious conversations. We have found similarities in our beliefs. One day after work, he asked me if I had looked into any other religions. I said no, that I knew that the gospel was true so there was no reason for me to look for something else. He then asked how I knew that the gospel was true, how I personally knew this. I had never been asked this before, but I did not have to think twice about my response. I told him that I had always known, that I had prayed and read my scriptures. Through these acts, I was able to develop a relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus. I knew that they loved me and had a plan for me. The gospel is simple. I am simple. Therefore, it resonates with me. It answers all of my questions about life...who am I? where am I going? why am I here? I had never been asked to share my testimony in this way before, but i LOVED it. i loved being able to share what i know to be true, why i am so happy. i am truly grateful for my conversations with Zee, that I am able to explain what i know and why i know it to be true. i am grateful for his insight and questions.

although i know that a mission will be hard hard work, i know that it will be worth it. i will be able to answer many people's prayers. i will be able to share the gospel with those yearning to know who they are and why they are here.

i'll tell you what i know. i know that i am a child of God. He loves me. He loves me so much that He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to earth to atone for not only my sins, but for all mankind. He wants us to return to Him. this is why the Atonement is here. it is real. it allows us to change our lives in a moment. He has given us scriptures that we may learn the commandments, that we may learn from other's mistakes. He has given us prayer so that we can communicate what is in our hearts, that we may feel His love if we just ask for it. He has given us a prophet to lead and guide us today. President Monson is His mouthpiece. revelation is real. we all can receive it. think of Joseph Smith. he was 14 when he prayed in a grove. Heavenly Father answered his prayer, so why wouldn't he answer ours? He has given us temples, that we may feel a bit of heaven on earth, that we may feel peace in a tumultuous world. He has given us families to love and learn and grow with. He gives us trials, that we may develop faith in Him and Jesus, that our testimonies will grow tremendously.

in a nutshell, God loves us. so much. He wants us to be happy. if we will turn our hearts over to Him and allow Him to shape and mold us into the people He wants us to be, we will be happy. He has a plan for us. He is there for us...all we need to do is let Him in.

Friday, October 2, 2009

dear boys...

dear boys,

after many encounters with you, i feel that i need to lay down the law.

first off, when did it ever become ok to text or call me at midnight to come over and "hang out?" we both know that this is code for cuddling and/or kissing and/or ncmos (non-committal make outs). i do not have "easy" stamped on my forehead. call me old-fashioned, but doesn't dating include going out on dates? no, this is not hanging out at your apartment or watching a movie. how hard is it to say, "hey, wanna grab something to eat?" or "wanna go on a walk?" i already have my guy friends that i hang out with and do boy things with (watching sports, etc). so yes, i will decline your invitation to hang out. i deserve to be taken out. no exceptions. if you think this is lame, newsflash....so are you.

second, i am a nerd. i love school and learning and studying. yes, i want to be a doctor or a physician's assistant. therefore, i am busy with school. i will not slack on my school work to hang out with you. i will not act or pretend to be dumb in order to make your ego sky rocket. i like having conversations that have substance (don't sit there and tell me how "amazing" i am so that you can get some). embrace my smartness or leave me alone.

yes, i can be intimidating. i know who i am. i am confident. i smile. i look you in the eye. i have a strong testimony of jesus and the gospel. i love church and going to the temple. i don't waste my time doing stupid things. i do not dirty text. i do not dirty dance. i do not play games. if i want to talk to you, i will. i am not a dud. i am independent. i am not clingy. i do not need to be with you every second of the day. i do spontaneous crazy random things. i enjoy laughing. i laugh a lot. i am happy. i am blunt, usually in a nice way. i am a simple person. i do like to get all dolled up every once in a while. i enjoy being feminine. if you cannot handle who i am, please back off.

like i said, i am a simple girl. i want a good boy to take me out on dates. if i like you, you will know. now seriously, am i asking too much of you?

well now that you know how i do things, man up or be gay.