Sunday, January 11, 2009

what i have come to realize

i am a thinker. i am never without thought. sometimes i overanalyze my life. things with boys and school are simple and yet, i make them complicated. i like to close my eyes and dream up the perfect world for me...5 years down the road. where will i be? i have this notion that after pa school, life will be bliss. no problems. no worries. and yet, i know deep within that there will always be life stresses. well now that i got this out..... i have been thinking about my mom a lot lately. i've always known that my mom is amazing...superwoman is the best word to describe her. she is always sacrificing her time for everyone around her. she cooks and cleans with little thanks. she makes beautiful dresses when she has no time. she has several callings in the ward that demand attention. she has many friends that require emotional energy. and still, she makes time for family. i really don't know how she does all of this. she is one of the most patient and loving people i have ever known. i mean, she dealt with me and all of the terrible things i said and put her through. i look back at those years and feel physically sick. she was the one person cheering me on in life and giving me love and i was pushing her away. my mom is my best friend. she tells me things that i do not always want to hear. she helps guide me in the right direction. she has taught me to love others and to see them the way God sees people. she has taught me to stay close to God and to put Him first in my life. she instilled my testimony of the gospel and helped me strengthen it. she has met every need that i have had. i highly regard her opinions. she loves me unconditionally. she has made me into the person i am today and i am eternally grateful for her Christlike love and example. if i can be half the woman she is, my life will be complete. i love you mom! you mean the world to me and nothing could ever change this. i support you in all you do!


  1. I agree, your mom is an amazing woman!!

  2. my dearest amanda - i am so grateful for your beautiful words about me! i have always hoped that you would someday be able to clearly see that my choice in life to be your mother would have meaning and purpose. you are such a gift to me. and, the eloquent way that you express yourself is also a gift that i will always treasure in my heart. i cannot think of a kinder tribute. every mother hopes for such an expression. you know, i remember the exact moment that i came to realize the profound love, life and sacrifice of nanny and all that she gave to me. becoming a mother myself was all it took to see nanny in a new light. when you were an infant, i was asked to join a book group with beppie harrison (the author). beppie had such a marvelous way of seeing the world. she taught me that love moves forward from mother to child. and, she taught me to choose staying home with you because it was what i wanted. i wanted to hold you when you were sick, pick you up when you fell, take you to the hair salon when you cut your long hair off, do puzzles with you, read the inexhaustible stack of books to you, dry your tears when you were sad, and watch "jungle book" and "barney" over and over again. what a wonderful mother you will someday be! know that you are beloved (the meaning of your beautiful name)! feel the love that extends from generations past and flows freely to you. you have so much love and support. love, your very happy mom!