what i have come to realize

i am a thinker. i am never without thought. sometimes i overanalyze my life. things with boys and school are simple and yet, i make them complicated. i like to close my eyes and dream up the perfect world for me...5 years down the road. where will i be? i have this notion that after pa school, life will be bliss. no problems. no worries. and yet, i know deep within that there will always be life stresses. well now that i got this out..... i have been thinking about my mom a lot lately. i've always known that my mom is amazing...superwoman is the best word to describe her. she is always sacrificing her time for everyone around her. she cooks and cleans with little thanks. she makes beautiful dresses when she has no time. she has several callings in the ward that demand attention. she has many friends that require emotional energy. and still, she makes time for family. i really don't know how she does all of this. she is one of the most patient and loving people i have ever known. i mean, she dealt with me and all of the terrible things i said and put her through. i look back at those years and feel physically sick. she was the one person cheering me on in life and giving me love and i was pushing her away. my mom is my best friend. she tells me things that i do not always want to hear. she helps guide me in the right direction. she has taught me to love others and to see them the way God sees people. she has taught me to stay close to God and to put Him first in my life. she instilled my testimony of the gospel and helped me strengthen it. she has met every need that i have had. i highly regard her opinions. she loves me unconditionally. she has made me into the person i am today and i am eternally grateful for her Christlike love and example. if i can be half the woman she is, my life will be complete. i love you mom! you mean the world to me and nothing could ever change this. i support you in all you do!

My nightly thoughts from ten to midnight

i am four days into school and i already want to be done...well..not the classes, just the daily routine. For example, here is a typical Monday:

class starts at 8

• kinesiology and biomechanics,
• neurobiology,
• chemistry,
• doctrine and covenants

work at 12:15 to 6ish

yoga at 8:30 pm

marathon training at 9:30

then i am supposed to do homework...... this is where i am failing in my day because i have no desire to sit and stare at words on a paper after such a long day. but like i said, i am only four days in. i still haven't made my giant homework calendar. i believe this is the reason why i am not getting anything done yet. the calendar is like my school bible. each class is color coordinated (orange, pink, teal, lime green, purple) and i put all the readings, tests, assignments, quizzes, and anything else on this calendar.

then, when i am lying awake at night, i feel guilty because i only read a few scriptures. i'm pretty sure that if i put God first, things fall into place. i know this, so now i'm gonna do.

boy am i glad that i got these feelings out!

Goal for tonight: make the calendar so that i can function! whoo!

New Year..New Me!

January 3...well technically January 4th, 2009

I have good feelings about this year. Newness always instills new hope in me. New people. New boys. New classes. New dreams. New goals. New situations. It's not that last year was bad. I just feel that I am somewhat stuck in a rut. Now I am ready to get out of the hole and onto fresh ground. I have found that life is short. Really short. After watching The Bucketlist, I learned that if I want to accomplish something, I should just do it instead of saying "Oh, I'll for sure do this in a couple years..." No, not anymore. Here are a few things I want to accomplish this year:

• marathon...Ogden in May and St. George in October
• temple trips every week
• volunteer at an old people home
• learn to knit
• plant a garden
• document my life with pictures
• do humanitarian aide...spread world peace
• learn to play the guitar
• influence someone's life for the better
• be able to master the wise tree pose...i can't get this down
• do crazy spontaneous things...not a typical amanda move
• CRUISE...cruising 08 was a freaking blast...09 will be off the hook
• become a 100% raw foodist
• feel free and let loose!!

I feel extremely happy with my goals for this year. I know that now is the time to get these done. This year, I am going to record all of my happy experiences in this blog. I love pink. I live pink. Thus the name "My pretty pink life." Life is better when living pinkly.