the turning point

oh.em.gee. get this...

as i was winding down for the night, i thought to check my nursing application status. it has been almost two months and i haven't heard a single word. nada. the anxiety has been KILLING me. so i sign in and there is a new link that says i can check to see if i was accepted to the program beginning March 11. it was 11:47pm. those 13 minutes felt like 3 hours. but as soon as it was midnight, boom! i clicked the link and the amazingly beautiful rare phrase of CONGRATULATIONS was the first thing i saw. guys.... i got in! oh.em.gee. oh.em.gee! i jumped out of my bed and ran down the hallway with my computer, woke up the parents, and shared with them my news, gave them some high fives, and then ran back to my room to actually read the acceptance letter. ahhh!!!

this is such a relief to me. i have been in limbo for about a year now, not knowing what i want to do, what programs to apply to, where i should live, where to meet boys (i'll save this for a whole different post). i needed to figure out the next step. i haven't really gotten anything concrete from Heavenly Father. just a "wait, things will work out" feeling. over and over and over. let's just say it has been trying my patience. i wanted a green light or a red light. not this yellow blinking "yield" nonsense.

well guys, i am here to tell you that things work out. definitely not on my time table. but Heavenly Father doesn't want us to fail. He won't leave us in the dark. it's so interesting how our lives turn out. i thought i had mine all mapped out. color coded. time framed. the works. yet, it hasn't gone anywhere near how i anticipated it would. but, i can say i have learned so much about myself. i have had experiences in the past year that i wouldn't trade for the world. its funny...if you would have asked me a year ago if i wanted to be a nurse, i would have laughed at that crazy idea. yet...things always fall into place. always. always. always.

it is like 2:59am. i can't sleep. i am so excited that a change is coming my way. as much as i like sameness and stability, my soul has been craving something exciting. and salt lake is close enough, but far enough away to feel new, different, refreshing. man alive, have i told you how excited i am?!?!? accelerated nursing program... HERE I COME!

g-scouts

THIS little devil has been sitting in front of me all day long. some of my patients really REALLY like me. they bring me boxes of the heaven sent cookies. i love them...the patients and the cookies. but i was determined to not eat sugar today. i have that resolve everyday. but apparently, i can't stick with it. even after learning all the harmful effects of sugar in my pathophys class (ain't nobody got time for diabeetus or heart attacks or premature aging), you'd think "girl, get it togetha!" haha quite the contrare. if someone led me to a cliff and then showed me a delicious yum yum treat at the bottom, i think i would jump to my death and hopefully have one functional limb to feed myself. i would die a sweet death. haha get it? moving on... i am loving the sweets. so i brought my V8 juice today to have at 3. and well...i made it till 3 with the cookies. i caved. i was a ticking bomb. it was inevitable. bound to happen. and it did. i had one. then one more. and thats all. at least i can control myself. sorta. but question...when did they become mini sized? i could stick 3 in my mouth and still have room to blow a big ole bubble with my gum. meh. times are hard for everyone i guess. these little guys are deceiving. if i was watching pretty little liars right now, i might down the whole box in the first 15 minutes...good thing that isn't on right now. as i have been writing, i did open my V8 juice. health benefits para mi. not quite as tasty as my samoas, but i am full and no longer craving the yum yums. the many challenges i experience here at work.

i'm alive.

i keep meaning to blog. i look at my old posts and relive those thoughts, learning from myself. i really think there is power in writing down experiences. since the mish, i have become scatterbrained. maybe im getting old. haha who knows? i wrote every. single. day on my mish. then i come home and i have written maybe 4 times. so much for keeping the habit alive. so, i am recommitting myself to blogging.  everything and nothing has happened this past year. i am still trying to figure out life. i am still having ridiculous boy experiences. maybe i will write a book. share what not to do, who not to date, how to not make eye contact with men at the gym. haha. my life is funny...in a tragic-boy-attracting way. one of these days, my honey bear will waltz on in. until then, i will continue collecting more stories to pull out when i need to entertain a group of people...

 i think that's my hold up to writing. every day feels the same, getting blended together in my mind. it would sound something like...today was nice. i worked. saved the world. went to the gym. ate some delish food. went to bed. rinse. repeat...except for the saving the world part...

but, then there are big deal events. applying to grad school and then not knowing if that is what i want to do. having mad back with me. my disillusionment with dating. liv being preggo. FINALLY feeling like bubbly amanda again (it's not like it took a year...oh wait...). so, after this biochem final tomorrow, i will sit down, put my memories to words. it'll be great. epic even.

as for now, im going to eat my zuppa tuscana soup and study fatty acid anabolism. sometimes i think i am smarter than i am. this material is whoooooooooooooshing over my head. say a prayer for me!

 

 

xoxo

amanda

headed on an airplane

so this year for Christmas, we got a trip...CANCUN! we were so excited. we got our passports, luggage tags, i practiced my spanish...then dad broke his ankle a couple weeks before the trip. so we postponed it for a month. well the weather there is terrible. so now we are going to HAWAII!! haha funny huh? we are staying in Ko Olina...not quite sure where it's at. but i do know there is sand and ocean! i laugh at the thought that we are going to the laie visitor's center in a few days as the tourists and in a couple months, i will be tour giver. i'm so excited to go experience the hawaii lifestyle before i am thrown into the mix...i'm not big on surprises. plus, nobody in the family has been before!!

we are staying here:

 

things we plan on crossing off our list:

eating legit hawaiian food...authentic pork, shaved ice, coconut pancakes to name a few

finding a gorgeous muu muu for my farewell...i wanna look the part

laying by the ocean, getting kissed by the sun

going to pearl harbor, pcc (which, i found out, i will be giving tours at...score!), laie visitor's center

learning to surf and hula

on another note, Heavenly Father answers prayers always. today was the best day our family has had in 8 months. i am so grateful for my relationships with my family members, for making them central in my life. i am grateful for eternal families, for the love and tears and laughter and craziness we experience together. i am grateful that i get to go spend 18 months with people who value their families as much as i do.

my older sister got married yesterday to THE most amazing man EVER!!! 

so newsflash to everyone: there is a 85% chance i will marry an island boy. i will name a select few reasons.

1. love of the family

2. sing

3. dance...the haka!!

4. love of food

5. tall, dark, and EXTREMELY handsome

6. simplicity = happiness

7. super affectionate

8. loud, lively personalities

i will hold out for an island man, for that is what i want/need. i feel good about this light that has been shed on my future husband.

the unfortunate flocking

everyone always says, "as soon as you get your mission call, the boys will flock to you." i say, "ya ya....right." and let's be honest. let me tell you who has been "flocking."

• slimy boys who just want to make out....if i didn't want to make out with you before, let alone be near you, why would now be any different? a mission sounds like off-limits to me. but for some, it is the green light.
• example: one boy texts me wanting to come over, to watch a movie. i say no. the movie idea turns into a tv episode. once again i decline. then the 45 minute tv show turns into an episode of the office. i'd rather not. then he starts calling. this is how it always plays out:
• 11:30 come over
• 11:32 ??
• 11:34 please. hurry. i'm alone
• 11:35 first phone call
• 11:36 second phone call
• 11:38 i'm on my way over
• 11:41 third phone call
• 11:42 i'm turning my car around 
• (understand that i don't answer any of these texts or phone calls, and yet, they keep on coming)
• one night i explain to him that he needs to call during normal hours (understand that he used to text at 1:30 or later...he is getting better. props to him) so what does he do? he calls at 10:30 am on a saturday. i still don't answer my phone. get the hint buddy.
• boys soliciting themselves to fill my canteen. um, can you just say gross and desperate? you boys should be ashamed of yourselves.
• boys giving me advice about kissing. "you need to kiss as many people as you can before you go." here's food for thought: how is not kissing someone for 18 months on a mission any different than not kissing anyone for 18 months at home? what if kissing means something to me? ever think about that? i'm not kissing just to kiss. i'm not skanky.
• random weirdos wanting to go out. is it rude that i say no? i don't think so. i don't want to waste your money or waste my time. boys always complain that girls aren't honest, that if they don't want to go out with a guy they should be upfront about it. well, i am honest abe. embrace it

so as "they" say, boys flock. but nobody i want. i know who i want. give me a tall (6'2), dark hair, pretty smile, warm eyes, suit-wearing, ambitious, temple-going man.

i know you are out there. but as mom says, it is not my time for this.

i guess heavenly father is right. i am supposed to go on a mission. haha

what i've been up to

let me share the happy things i have been up to lately:

mom and i went to LEGALLY BLONDE, the musical, at capitol theatre. simply amazing and inspiring.

attempting to eat only lactose and gluten free foods (no breads, milk, cheese, butter, basically anything good). i have found some yummy things amidst the dry, bland stuff they call food. 

• kinnikritters (delicious animal cookies. i think they are for children. but i feel 5.)
• chocolate chex (gluten free, not dairy free but a ok with me)
• rice cakes with almond butter....my staple breakfast food
• this amazing sandwich bread! my friend cate is also gluten intolerant and she made this from scratch. SOOO good. it tastes just like normal bread. try it!

training for my marathon. i have a love/hate relationship with running. i feel so empowered after but i dread those long runs. i was supposed to run 10 miles today. i biked 15 instead. not quite the same, but it was quality time with howard and i will take that over running any day.

i am now back to being my bubbly blonde self (thanks to my gorgeous friend cass)

all of my favorite tv shows are on right now!!! i am loving life. and i have discovered some new ones. oh to have all the time in the world to do nothing: 






• monday: gossip girl (amazing fashion, love stories galore, drama that i love to watch but don't want in my own life....basically my guilty pleasure)
• tuesday: lost (addicting. i crave this show. i feel like the characters are my friends. totally normal)
• thursday: grey's (once again, these people are my friends. i love the crazy new twists that occur. and i love the patient stories...i mean it is a medical show and therefore should have some neat surgery operations. thank you grey's for never letting me down!)
• tivo: parenthood (easily my new favorite show. it depicts real life family craziness, which is hilarious because i can totally relate! seriously though, i laugh throughout the whole show "dude, i have a son named jabar." HAHA love this)

MARCH MADNESS....i can't get enough of this! so many upsets. after tonights game with k state and kentucky losing, my bracket is shot. but how bout a shout out to all the underdogs? holler. and my team is still tearing it up out there. GO DUKE!!!

temple prep with mom. i cannot express my excitement to go to the temple. 4 days people. i don't feel old enough to do this. can someone please press pause to my life? it is going in double fast forward

school...but only 12 more days of classes (and a couple of tests) and i am DONE with BYU!!! can you say ELATED?!?! i sure can.

work. i live at work. it has been crazy stressful, to the point of me wanting to quit. i lined up several interviews at some places. BUT...this past week has been so much better. so i told myself i could stick it out for another couple of months. each hour counts for P.A. school. it'll pay off eventually...hopefully. if only money grew on my trees.

trying to find time to talk to Heavenly Father. i sometimes feel like i am talking to him on the phone but i keep saying "oh...can you hold on for a sec?" and then i forget He is on the line. i hate this. i want to talk to Him all day long, which is why i am so grateful for prayers that are said in the heart. i just want to sit outside in the sun, reading scriptures and preach my gospel and other uplifting books and pray....but alas, this is not the case. so im trying to do what the sacrament prayers talk about: remembering Him. i'll keep ya posted on how this goes.

calling my friends and extended family on the phone to stay connected. i have to charge my phone at least three times a day. ridiculous i know. i surface once a month for social outings. this will happen in about 2 weeks. get ready.

where i will be four months from now!

so i totally got my call. are ya ready?!?

i'm going to HAWAII (honolulu to be exact, as well as the laie visitor's center)!!!! i leave for the MTC on June 30.  an island was definitely on my list of where i would love to go. but let's be real...who ever thinks about being called to hawaii? not i. ah...a warm beautiful exotic island. let me share my happy thoughts:

1. the sun is shining every day! this means i won't get any kind of SAD (seasonal affective disorder...depressed because there is no sun and therefore no vitamin D). i will, at the very least, have a tan face (my selfish vain happy thought)

2. i am "encouraged" to wear bright, colorful clothing, including floral prints (woo! totally in style right now). i can wear sandals, which means NO pantyhose (double woo). 

3. i can stay blonde (my other selfish vain happy thought)! there are hair salons on the island. yay for p-day.

4. i don't have to pack a bag full of tampons, pads, pressed powder, eyeliner, deodorant. etc....hawaii is industrialized. i can buy these things there. YES!

5. there are palm trees EVERYWHERE!!! i can see the ocean!! 

6. hawaiians move slower. they are chill. they take their time, for what is the rush? 

7. i can eat FRUIT and FISH, two of my favorite things.

8. there are a lot of asians (at least some come to visit)!!! although asia is where i really wanted to go, i will get to see and talk to asians in hawaii!

9. i will meet people from all over the world, and as my mom put it, i will be able to plant seeds in people, who will hopefully go back to their homeland and pursue the missionaries there.

10. quite possibly, i will be able to wear real flowers in my hair. LOVE.

11. luaus, the haka, kalua pork, ukeleles, hawaiian floral print shirts...

12. i just might be able to learn how to hula dance! 

13. Heavenly Father totally wants and needs me in hawaii, which from researching and learning more about hawaii, seems to be one of the happiest places on earth, full of loving and joyful people. He knows  me and what i can handle, what i can offer, how i can touch people. this gets me SOOOO enthused!!

i have been looking at so many pictures of honolulu and laie. i don't know exactly where i will be, but every picture i have looked at has been BEAUTIFUL. take a peek!

honolulu

honolulu

laie temple

laie

laie

laie

Heavenly Father loves us beyond what we can comprehend. im so grateful for this amazing opportunity to go serve the people of hawaii, as well as all of the visitors that come to his beautiful place. i am grateful that Heavenly Father trusts that i will be able to touch the lives of others living and visiting here. 

in a nutshell, i love this gospel and i am excited to go share my testimony with others!